Let's Stop Bullying!

So What Is Bullying?

Bullying comes in many many different varieties. But it all boils down to one basic fact. Someone deliberately and intentionally tries to "put another person down" or hurt them physically, emotionally, mentally, culturally, racially, or in some other way, in order to "prove" that they are "better" or stronger than the other one. The key thing about bullying is that someone is always trying to hurt another person in some way and put them down a notch or so.

Strange to say, bullying is almost always a cowardly thing to do. This is because bullying is a sign of inner insecurity, weakness and spiritual immaturity. People bully others, (usually those physically weaker than themselves), because in their own insecure minds they think that by putting someone else down, they some how elevate themselves. They don't realize that they're only showing to others that they are actually very insecure and scared about what others think of them.

And it's crucial to realize that there is not only physical bullying, but also emotional and mental bullying. And while we might never dream of ever physically bullying someone, we might need to ask ourselves, "Am I, or my children, ever emotionally or intellectually bullying another person - perhaps by putting them down, being sarcastic, making them look foolish in front of others, or something similar?"

So How Do We Stop Bullying?

It depends - since there are many different types of bullying. Let's look at some of the different kinds of bullying and see what we can do.

Sibling Bullying

The first kind of bullying that we often encounter is from siblings. It's absolutely crucial that parents don't allow one child to bully another. Even if it takes continuous "timeouts" or depriving the bully of some valued thing or activity, it's absolutely crucial that the bullying stop in our own homes. A child that learns that it can get its own way by bullying will often continue to do that as a teenager and adult. There is absolutely no excuse for allowing bullying in our homes.

Bullying In Our Schools and Neighborhoods

This is a much trickier thing to stop. Because we're often not there to witness the bullying that is happening in our children's schools or around the neighborhood. But there are many useful websites on this topic available now that can help. Just do an Internet search, select the advice that is relevant to you, and put it into action.

Peer Bullying

Peer bullying is any kind of bullying that we experience from our peers. It may be at work, on the ball field, or in some other situation. Again, there are many useful websites on this topic available now that can help. Just do an Internet search, select the advice that is relevant to you, and put it into action.

Bullying Within a Marriage

Bullying within a marriage is a very complex issue. It can be done either by the husband or the wife. It can be in a physical way or through the use of angry emotional violence and intimidation. Both genders are equally capable of bullying – and emotional violence is just as wrong as physical violence. A physically larger person will sometimes bully by using their physical height and stature to create an imposing and intimidating posture. In extreme forms it can result in actual physical violence which is extremely destructive to the other, to oneself, and to the relationship. Likewise, some people will use their powerful angry emotional violence to intimidate, manipulate and control their more gentle natured spouses. This emotional violence is just as damaging and just as wrong as physical violence, and the destructive consequences are just as long-lasting down through the years. Any form of bullying, whether it is through words, physical acts, or angry emotional energy, is extremely destructive to the marriage.

Men and women who are having these kinds of problems in their marriages need to seek out competent marriage counselors so they can learn appropriate communication skills, ways of interacting with each other, and appropriate ways of dealing with frustration.

If you want to be happy in your marriage, please don't bully.